Goodbye Amsterdam

Few days before leaving Iran, after finishing most of the official works, I was somehow worried. Although I used to do whatever I wanted during my study in the university, although I had experiences that usually women don't have in Iran, although I had the experience of living far from my family from the age 18, I was afraid of leaving my husband. I was not sure about my decision; I was afraid that maybe this decision has some bad effects on our life.

I was sure that this would be a very nice experience. I was sure that lots of learning both related to my research and to my life is waiting for me. It was an opportunity to be alone and think about my life.

After the events related to the election of 2009 in Iran, I think that most of Iranian people experienced cataclysms in their minds and souls. This could be seen on Persian weblogs. There is a long gap (in some cases around 1 year) between posts before election and the ones after election. For me, being in the center of war, all of my thoughts started to change. There were lots of big question marks in front of lots of my beliefs. For a long time I was involved in answering those questions. There was lots of pressure on my mind. Like other Iranian people, I had kind of depression.

The night of departure, I cried a lot. The whole way from Iran to Amsterdam I was sad. My husband was different from my family. Before my marriage I was independent from every one; but I was dependent to my husband. He is one of the best husbands in the world.

I knew that as a human being I would adjust myself to the situation. I knew that this is a natural emotional reaction. My decision was to benefit this opportunity as much as possible. 

My life in Amsterdam started. I loved that. Something was happening in my soul. If I plot a curve to show the path I traversed, it would have a few (maybe two or three) critical points. Most of the path would be smooth. Being apart from the stressful society of Iran, I could treat my ill soul. I could relax although the revolutions and movements of the Middle East brought new pressures with themselves; New questions, new revolution of my soul. It took again few months to relax myself. 

All of this period, when I look at the way, I see the trace of my friends for feeling happy and enjoying my life. I want to say thanks to my Iranian and non-Iranian friends in Amsterdam. 

The friends in the group in UvA, I appreciate them for accepting me as a member of group, being patient against my bad English and bad behaviors, helping me and replying my questions from time to time.

Iranian friends, I appreciate them for accepting me in their friends' circles and inviting me to their homes, picnics, jogging and biking programs, and afternoon coffee gatherings in UvA. I'm sure that without some friends who speak with my mother tongue, it wouldn't be easy to be happy apart from Iran. 
I should say my special thanks to my supervisor, Shimon. There is a saying that "whoever learned me some word, has made me her/his servant". I learned research steps from Shimon. Although I was supposed to work much better than this, he was patient against me. One thing that gives me hope for the future is that I can continue my work with him through email.

If I love Amsterdam, obviously it's not just because of the nature, calm atmosphere, and hi-speed internet without any filter. Without you my friends, certainly I couldn't make this nice beautiful experience.