Return to Iran

I'm trying to make my brain ready for coming back to Iran. Again, there would be lots of official problems, traffic, pollution, depressed and poor people, security checks, lots of problems with internet, ...

But there are lots of other things that I can be happy with them. Although I do not have much dependency to my home, but my husband and I made it together, we painted it as we liked. Each room has a color and the ceilings have different colors. We bought everything based on the colors: green, orange, yellow, blue, pink, ...

I can climb the mountains with my husband or my friends. I can invite my friends who are like my sisters. I can see the babies of my husband's sister who were born when I was in Amsterdam. I can cook delicious foods with lots of facilities I have in the home. My husband and I can walk to the cookie store every night and can eat delicious cookies with lots of cream. Then we can go to the park near our home and watch children playing.

My friends and I can start the discussion sessions we had before. We can read books and talk about them. 

I have downloaded lots of lectures related to morality and religions and Quran which was not easy in Iran because of filtering and low speed internet. I can share them with my friends and we would have enough cultural food for at least 2 years. I became aware of some Quran sessions in Sharif University and I'm going to participate them. This is exactly what I was looking for during these years and I couldn't find any.

I want to go to English classes. I would like to improve my English so I can talk with my children in the future. It would be hard to find some nanny for the children who knows foreign languages. There are just few immigrants in Iran. 
I hope I can continue my work with my supervisor here through email. I hope I can find more motivation for my work. Maybe I start some common work and discussions with my friends who do research in different areas of Mathematics.
I found the group who I was a member of that 8 years ago. The group has been expanded during these years and now they have also a branch for helping poor people near our home. I left the group 7 years ago because after a year of cooperation, I reached to the point that I felt the real one who needs help is me. There were some of those children  in those poor situations who were happier than us. Now, I think that the reality is that both sides need each other. We can help them and they can help us. 
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Still they are sending people to prisons, still they are ruining the country, still they are stealing the resources of country, still they claim that they are God's agent on the earth, still pressures on the people are becoming more and more. They said that the national internet is going to start its work soon. This means that the few gates to the world even would be fewer than this. Still there is lots of Oppression on the earth. Still there are lots of people on this earth who die from starvation. 
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But I'm trying to give hope and energy to myself with some small reasons. It's not easy to sit and watch your country destroying. But, this is just very small part of thousands of years of humans lives on the earth. I know that there is some position for the human that if somebody reaches that point, then God would be seen every where and patience and peace would be the results of that position.

As a person in this sick society, I should look at my capabilities. First of all, I should work on myself. Living in the system and not becoming like that needs lots of energy. I should think about my daily life every night to find the mistakes and try to correct them. I should improve my relationship with God so I can be patient against everyday problems and difficulties.

I hope God helps me.